“I am not my violation”

Thanksgiving of 2010 was pretty routine-good food, great family, and even better pie! Once family left, the festivities died off, and I went to party. After a beer or two had been had, I found myself in a really undesirable situation. I experienced being touched, hit, punched and pulled in all directions by five people I had never met in my life. And I was pissed. Actually more like livid. And it was all because I fought back in a situation where I was expected to be powerless. They expected me to lie there and take it, but instead I screamed, bit, kicked and punched until they had had enough.

At first, I was really angry at myself because I assumed that I looked like I was asking for it. It quickly dawned on me though, that I wasn’t the only factor. Yes, maybe my dress was too low cut, but just like I had the choice to wear that dress, these guys had the choice to act or to walk away-and they made the wrong choice.
After the anger wore off I was thankful. Why? Because it could have been so much worse. I could have been violated more than I was, I could have been knocked unconscious, I could have been killed. But I wasn’t. And I’m here now. And honestly, bruises heal, scars lighten, and memories fade. What has remained with me is the awareness and knowledge that will never again allow me to be touched in a way I don’t want to be.

I know that this isn’t a subject to be taken lightly, nor is it one to speak so matter-of-factory about; however this is the type of person I am and being straight with myself is what helped me move past it and into a whole different place in my life.

Always stand up for what you believe is right; bruises heal, scars lighten, and memories fade.