I like to see people smile. This desire leads me to do whatever it takes to put a smile on someone’s face. The problem with this is that there are infinite people to please; some are in my capacity to heal, some are not.. When I cannot make someone happy, I think of all the things I do that make them sad, and think that if I fix those things, everything will be alright. Often, people’s problems have nothing to do with me, but until they are happy, I will continue to “better” my perceived imperfections.
I can be smarter, I can be thinner, I can be faster, I can be funnier. The shortcomings that make me incapable of healing my friend bite at my heart and mind like black flies telling me I am not what I should be.
I try every day to focus on what I should be to a friend or family member who is unhappy, and place the focus on what they need from me; not what I should be for them. People don’t need you to change when they are unhappy, they need a stable friend. The better I am to myself, the better am to them, the better they, and I, “be.”