“I am not my stubbornness”

I work very hard for what I want and as a result, I demand what I deserve. It is never with the intention of making anyone feel inferior; I want us ALL to win. I want us all to have the best possible experiences life can allot us. I am willing to work for it and reap the benefits joyfully. I genuinely hope you feel the same. Regardless if you feel the same or not, my choice will not change.

Life has been great to me, I am extraordinarily blessed. But as I’m sure everyone would say, life has had its low moments. March 2004 I turned twelve, beginning of July 2004 my maternal grandmother died from breast cancer and other medical complications. Days later I find out my mother had been diagnosed with the same type of cancer. August 2004 my mother begins chemotherapy. September 2004 a petrified part of me believed my mother would die by the end of the year or sooner. I knew everyone was concerned and scared, I refused to be anyone’s burden, I held it all in. I held it all in for years. I pulled myself up and carried on.

Thank GOD that my mother is now cancer free and well! She is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without her. Thinking about that time in my life still makes me uneasy, but it taught me a lot. It shaped me to see life in a more strategic way. Now as a maturing young woman, I have conditioned myself to understand that life is easy for no one, it is up to me to make good for myself. I must make good for myself and when I do I’ll be able to share this with my loved ones.

One of my favorite sayings is “Do what I have to now, to get what I want later.” No doubt that when “later” finally comes, I’ll get what I worked for by any means. I work diligently academically, I treat others well with respect, kindness and fairness, I try my best to make my family proud, and I stay out of trouble. So no, I will not accept mediocrity in any instance.

I am proud of what I have overcome and walk with this pride daily. My pride is not boastful or loud, it’s very quiet and often viewed in my demeanor and choices. It is frustrating that I feel as though I have to undermine my confidence to ensure that certain people don’t feel offended. I know that I am not perfect, perhaps I do come off a little too strong. I am confident that I can win any argument and I do not easy back down; sometimes my persistence can be my demise. Please don’t be offended, I am still trying to figure this out. My stubbornness is not a personal attack on anyone. It is me struggling with letting my guard down and depending on others. Please don’t be offended.