“I am not my significance”

Sometimes the strangest things can affect you. For me, I have always battled with being insignificant in a number of ways. Firstly, I’m quite short. The bullying that rattled my life due to my height was something I’m very proud to have overcome. Secondly, living in someone’s shadow is not easy, especially when it’s a person that you look up to. Having an amazingly talented and ambitious role model who also paved the way for my own experiences in school and out put precedence on my performance as a person and especially as a student.

My sister would always be number one, but it sometimes came at a cost. Comparisons flew at me, partially because my sister looked like me but also because she was just old enough to have left an impression on every person I knew. This left me with self-doubt, a feeling I am quite familiar with, which eventually burrowed itself into my insecurity about my significance. Constantly I battled with being “good enough” or “smart enough”. I would never get reassurance that I was from the people around me. Anyone could tell me I was smart, or good, or pretty, but it was never enough. This feeling of neglect and hopelessness also carried itself into the relationships that I was having. One of my first relationships left me with a feeling that I definitely wasn’t worth it to someone who was worth so much to me. I know that the scars of my past still ache with the feeling that I could be left at the side of the road with no one, and however irrational that feeling is, insecurities can plague a person and spread through them like black ink. I know that my family has my back in everything, but I don’t hear it enough. Life is lead through criticism and not enough praise.

I don’t want to use this as a sob story about my life; I want to use this as a comeback story. Yes, I can slip back into the feelings of regret and doubt about the things that I am doing and the way that I am acting. However, I know that I (and you, whosever reading this) am good enough, is worth it. A very important message that I want to relay is that you should tell people that you are worth it. Scream it into the heavens or straight to someone’s face. Tell another person that they are worth it. However tiny and insignificant you feel, you and this beautiful life that you live are worth it. It’s a tough life and you’re gonna hear a lot of things about you that don’t make it sound like you’re wanted or needed. But trust me. We are.