“I am not my procrastination”

Although it may seem trivial, and is rather common, procrastination is something that greatly affects my life every day. I keep myself up at ridiculous hours to complete work i had all night to do. My night usually starts out with doing petty work like rearranging my closet, or room. I keep myself distracted with unimportant tasks to make myself feel productive. I stall for hours. Later, the realization that its about 4 A.M. hits me. As my eyes get more and more difficult to keep open I decide it would probably be ideal to start my work. All-nighters are way too common in my life.

Tests, projects, and deadlines are often missed. Im constantly letting people down, and being told that I’m lazy. I guess my mind subconsciously draws the idea that I cant fail to achieve if I never try to begin with. My fear of failure and letting people down is most likely the reason for my procrastination. Ironically, thats exactly what my outcome is. The most frustrating part of my procrastination is that i don’t understand why i do it. I set myself up for failure, almost like self sabotage. I know I am capable of great work, but my habits lower my potential. I may procrastinate, and it may be a big part of my life, but it does not define me. I am not my procrastination.