“I am not my personality”

So I thought – I’m a fairly open person. This shouldn’t be too hard. Right? Wrong. Dead wrong. As it turns out, it’s pretty easy to convince yourself that you’re an open person, willing to show your anxieties to the world, when you’re keeping them hidden from yourself. So what am I really most afraid of? My lack of self-awareness.

I’ve done a lot of flailing about and searching over the last few years. My friends refer to my ‘intense phases’ with amusement and good humor. I usually find it funny too, but I grimace inside. Behind the facade of comfort and confidence with myself, I’m still searching. Who am I?