“I am not my nightmares”

Screaming. Crying. Sweating. Panting.


This is how I would wake up every day for almost one year. For almost one year, I had to relive the pain and fear brought on to me by this man I believed was my friend.

It all started one night at a party with some friends. One of them – a friends significant other – offered me a ride home. Thinking nothing of it as we had known one another for about two years, I accepted the offer. The thought never crossed my mind that he would try to take advantage of me; but he did. He forced himself on me and I blacked out. I woke up cold, undressed, and alone in the back of the car. To this day, I have not been able to tell my friend what he did to me. I let this man control me. My thoughts. My actions. My fears.

It was not until one year later that I met the most amazing friend who would help me to overcome these nightly nightmares and reassure me that I am in control of my happiness and myself. It was a struggle to overcome this and to learn to trust again, but I eventually did. Thanks to the help of this new friend, I hardly have nightmares any more, and when I do, I know that they are not something to fear. I am no longer letting this man and these nightmares control my life. I am now, and forever more, in control.