“I am not my exterior”

You look like you could kill a person … that’s what she said, not you look pensive, maybe I was pondering the infinite combinations of peanut butter and anything, quantum physics, no I was mean , a possible killer. I wanted to talk to her, I liked her but she left, her friend said that I really scared her, thing was I did nothing , it’s just my face and quiet way that is misconstrued for mean. Old people look at me and cross the street , I took a good whooping from three boys once, because they were throwing rocks at an old lady and I stopped them, I’m the good guy , but no white hat neutralizes my mean look.

I have had my own family say I look to mean, I am not mean I am quiet , in high school I was the one who mediated and stopped fights, I stood up for others one too many times and paid the price , and today I still would, it’s a problem of mine to stand up for what’s right, but most don’t know that because they can’t get past the fact that I don’t always smile, my dad doesn’t my brother doesn’t, I’m going to call it a family tradition, it’s at least genetic. I could fake a smile, but nothing is cheesier then a faked smile. Fake smiles are for car salesman and much too pretentious. I am not mean, just quiet and shy. I hope someone comes up and asks why are you so pensive someday.