“I am not my dreams”

My passions burn deep in my heart but with the fear just as bright, I find myself stuck. At first I give my insecurities to themselves which is something I am not. I feel pain behind the veil and a heaviness in my track. I am that which is my insecurity. Though with every choice I make, I am surrendering, I am asking for truth. I climb and I will continue to climb until I reach my perfect bliss. To see my insecurities for what they really are I realize, “I am not my dreams”.

Fear is keeping me from being what I dream. Fear has stolen my voice. This is the most challenging

barrier in my life, the biggest insecurity that is apart of me. In my lifetime I have had many opportunities, beautiful ones. Most of them I have accepted and some I have not. The ironic thing about it is whether I took the opportunity or let fear take it from me, it always had to do with not letting my voice be heard. This has held me back in so many ways with my life. One time not too long ago, I met this singing coach who taught talented well known artists. I had an opportunity to have a lesson with him but when the day came, I didn’t speak up to my employer (who personally knew the guy) that we had made an appointment. I let fear keep me from letting my voice be heard by not sticking up for what I really wanted in that moment for myself. It is frustrating and sad that I can see my fear for what it is and still struggle to conquer it. How my greatest passion is singing and my biggest fear is claiming a voice for myself. I have so much I want to give to people. So much love, peace, understanding and friendship. I want to reach to people through my talents and my dreams. But I cannot seem to make this a reality past the comfort of my camper. I find myself living in my own world. Keeping my voice, that is so desperately wanting to be heard, to my ears alone.

I feel that this insecurity also affects the people around me. I am not sharing who I truly am. I think to myself often, if I really want to spread happiness I have to become truly happy inside myself first. Choosing to let my fear hold me back does not make me happy. I always regret not speaking up or singing with all my heart. It seems easier to just give into my fear. If I don’t speak up I wont be judged, right? But I am finding that I have the right to make a choice. I can either choose to let the fear take me or I can sing my heart out and let my voice be heard.