“I am not my body”

I am not my weight, I am not my height, I am not my body. For the last 5 years, I’ve been overweight by varying degrees, now more than ever. I weigh 200 lbs., despite my efforts to lose some of that, and I have no one to blame but myself.

The worst part of it is that I don’t think I’m attractive, or appealing. I don’t know how people see me, but in my mind, they see me as ugly, and unattractive. I’m a naturally confident person, but I find myself second guessing myself all the time, and wondering how people really see me, and if they could ever actually like someone who looks like me.

I hate buying clothes, because I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, and when I do, I don’t like the way clothes fit me. I hate that I have to automatically go to the back of the rack to find things in my size. It makes me feel awful about myself.

But I am not my body. I am a kind, caring person; a dedicated person, and a good friend. I take care of the people around me, and go out of my way to be nice to strangers. I am smart, and funny, and talkative, but people don’t always see that about me. They just see my double chin, and my wide hips, and don’t bother with anything else.

I am trying to lose weight, but it’s a struggle. I’m eating a lot better now than I have before, but it’s hard to get myself to go to the gym to work out. I try to make good choices about what I eat, and my activities, but it’s extremely hard to change your lifestyle. I work at it all the time.

I wish that people could see who I am inside, not what I look like on the outside. I know that I like who I am on the inside a lot better than my body, and I think other people do too. There are some who can look past my weight, and they’re wonderful people. But not many are like that, and it’s a shame.

I am not just my body. I am so much more, and I wish it were easier to show that to people. My outside might not be a pretty sight, but look a bit deeper. There’s more to me than my body.