“I am not my pessimism”

“I’ve been called pessimistic, “Debby-downer”, a bitch, and plain out rude for a long time. I can’t really say that those names are inaccurate.

About 6 years ago when my mom died my view on life changed. I started to realize that people are not good, smart, kind, and helpful, by nature. From that point on I’ve just found more and more reasons to become overly pessimistic about people, and my generation in particular. I get so angry by little things that people do that mark them as incompetent or even just a little bit less than myself. My pessimism puts me into deep depression sometimes when I think about my future. I think about how I have absolutely no chance of making it when there is people around me who are getting praised for stupidity and lack of comprehension, daily. I start to feel like I need to dumb myself down to be at the competency level of my peers.

Having someone as close to me as my mother pass without any warning really made me feel like no one can do anything right anymore. People are just continuously hurting each other without thinking about how its affecting anyone else around them. I know that some people wont have a chance to make a future for reasons much worse than my pessimism. I know that I will have a successful future, and that I will be something in this world with all disregards to my generation. But while I still stand with ‘no hope for us’, I am not my pessimism.”