“I am not my glares”

Project Description:

A dirty look, stink eye, evil eye, angry stare, the list goes on. A glare can be defined in many ways, but they all center on the same idea of a person being angry or in a “bitchy” mood. On a day to day bases, I wear the opposite of a glare on my face, a smile. This smile is used as a mask, a cover up for what truly lies underneath. It’s hard to be a laughing, happy-go-luck teen with problems. If you are always joking around, serious issues soon become jokes too. No one can take you seriously, that’s when the glare first shows up.

It slowly emerges and begins to find a home on that thing called your face. Whether I am sitting there waiting for classes to end or rocking out to my favorite song, that unattractive look creeps up on me. Just one simple look, a frown, can make people ask questions such as, “What’s up your butt?” or “Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” or the worst “Is it that time of the month?” None of those questions make me want to turn my frown upside down; it makes me want to scream. If people who are suppose to there for you, maybe even suppose to have your back can’t take you seriously, well then, who can?

Once the faint idea of taking a jokester seriously soon dissipates, it will never return again. If a person can’t be taken seriously, what’s the point in trying to make an effort to hide behind anything anymore? It makes me come to one simple conclusion; make no effort, just be the random person in the background no one really knows. Being unknown has many great perks, no more problems, no one to make your day from bad to worse with a simple question, and best of all, no one you have to hide from. A glare is a very powerful tool. If used well, it can scare off your enemies. If used excellent, you can tell anyone who looks at you a story without saying a word. This story being of someone who has been beaten down in more ways than anyone could even imagine. Most people just associate a dirty look to be one used by a person who doesn’t want to be bothered; little do they know it could just be their face.

A smile can be one of the hardest things to fake when all you can think about is when the next bad thing is going to happen to you. Luckily for me, I’ve become an expert of faking this so called thing as a smile. I have gotten so used to people beating me down to the point where there truly is nothing left of me. A glare is honestly just what my face looks like at this point, there is no point for me to smile. Not one thing.