“I am not my assault”

“It won’t happen to me”, that’s something we all get to say at least once in our lifetime. I was eleven at the time, and I never thought it can happen to me. My best friend was not in school that day and I only went downstairs to give her my notes. The man, wearing only short red boxers and holding a dildo, started following me up the stairs to my apartment. Until one of the neighbors stopped him, he took all his clothes off and was about to do the same to me. I was one of the lucky ones as it ended there.

Since then, I avoided intimate relationships as sexual intimacy scared me. Eventually, ten years later, my first boyfriend helped me through this. Although, with every new guy I date, I am back to square one.

Until this day, I experience nightmares, panic attacks and insecurities. It is not easy to find a man that will understand, be patient, and won’t run out the door.